


Dear Diary,

by nicelittlebody



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-17
Updated: 2013-02-17
Packaged: 2017-11-29 15:51:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/688719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicelittlebody/pseuds/nicelittlebody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the Diary of Harry Styles.<br/>Every deepest darkest secret, every traumatic experience, and his first love that saved his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Diary,

**Author's Note:**

> **THE WHOLE STORY IS WRITTEN LIKE A DIARY AND IT'S IN HARRY'S POINT OF VIEW**

  **January 1, 2011.**

Happy New Year, I guess. I've enjoyed my break from school ofcourse, but i'm still home alone. I haven't heard from Mum in a week, and tomorrow is the anniversary of Dad's death. I'm worried, not knowing where my Mum is or what she's doing. Since he died last year she's been a complete emotional wreck. If she isn't in her room crying, she's sitting on the sofa staring at a blank television screen. I guess it's safe to say that her moods have rubbed off on me. I need to be honest with myself and say that i'm worried about me more than Mum. I've lost 46 pounds since the first of December, it's not that i'm starving myself, it's just that i'm never hungry, i'm never in the mood to eat. My case worker came over yesterday to check on me since she knows my Mum is nowhere to be found and she won't answer the phone; she found the cuts on my thighs. It was an accident actually, I wasn't looking for attention, but since nobody is ever home except me I thought it'd be safe to just walk around in briefs and a hoodie, I guess I was wrong. Allison, (my case worker) asked me what the story was behind every cut, all 13 of them. Ofcourse I told her because honestly she's the person who I would trust with my life; I cried, and she cried with me. I felt horrible knowing that I had such a place in her heart that whatever affected me, it would do the same to her. I felt sick to my stomach, I didn't need her pity, it just made me feel even more guilty than I already was. Allison finally left after two hours, and I walked into the kitchen to get a glass of straight vodka so it would fill me up to where I could feel no emotion at all.

**January 2, 2011.**

I just looked over my entry from yesterday, it made no sense at all. I laughed out of embarassment. Well, today is the day of Dad's death anniversary. I woke up last night due to a nightmare, I can't exactly remember what it was since my memory is kind of fuzzy due to all the vodka I drank last night; speaking of that I have the worst hangover right now, but I was right. I had no heartache anymore last night, I didn't cry, I didn't cut, I didn't feel anything. It was relieving. But now it's all over, there are teardrops on this page. I miss my Dad, I miss my Mum; sadly God knows what she's doing right now. What if she's fucking dead?! I'd take the blame for it. My parents always had a rough marriage and i've always believed it was because of me, atleast that's what Gemma told me. Then I grew up, and Dad brought one of his friends from work home. My Dad introduced him to me as his lifesaver; I had no idea what that meant. Gemma was staying the night at a friend's house, and Mum had to work the night shift. So it was just Me, Dad, and his 'lifesaver'. I fell asleep before the both of them as usual because we were watching a sappy romance movie that didn't keep my interest, though I woke up to screaming. Mum had come home early and caught Dad fucking his 'lifesaver'. He claimed it was a drunken mistake, that both of them had drank, even though they hadn't. I knew ofcourse, I was there right? But what did I know. I was 12. They could've drank after I fell asleep and things got heated. Mum and Dad kept there marriage up until a year ago today when he died due to a robbery at the bank he worked at. I miss him so much and Mum always told me not to listen to Gemma because everything she was saying was wrong, and that they had secret tension between the two of them. Now I know Dad's affair was what it was.

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't the only chapter, there will be plenty more. Give kudos and leave comments!


End file.
